«

»

Sep 13

WEIRD NEWS WEDNESDAY: SQUIRRELS ARE ASSHOLES:HERE’S WHY

grey-squirrel-eating1While visiting a forested area, (a park), or while living in an apartment, you may think squirrels are oh so cute. Well, I am here to tell you, that squirrels are not cute. Squirrels are assholes.

Before buying a house I thought squirrels were oh so cute critters that did funny things. One recent fall, they were shaking tree limbs to loosen acorn nuts to eat and to bury for the winter. Turned out they knew something we humans did not. We had one of the coldest,  snowiest winters ever—in the Northeast region of America. In Buffalo, New York, friends and relatives received 7 feet of snow in about 24 to 36 hours.

Okay so squirrels are smart assholes.

Since buying a house, I have concluded that squirrels are vile little rodents that are not cute, they are a pain in the butt. They climb up our oak trees daily and shake tree limbs until the old limb falls off. Not a good thing, while owning a house to have squirrels causing old tree limbs to fall onto the house. Not a great thing to hear squirrels jumping around on the roof, possibly ruining our home, and ruining the gutters, the old oak trees, and everything else in their search for life sustaining food.

For three weeks we heard squirrels outside climbing our oak trees, crunching madly away at every acorn they could reach. They took down entire tree parts; branches, twigs, sections of leaves. Numerous acorns fell down to the ground, and on our roof we just had replaced on our old, newly bought home. We listened to the crunching that went on from early morning until it grew dark outside.

Just try to mow a lawn, or cut weeds down when there are dismembered acorns lying, ripped in half to be sucked of life, so that a squirrely squirrel may eat a small meal. Try walking up a slight incline to mow or de-weed that slippery slope! It’s similar to working a job where everyone is your boss, who are all assholes and no matter how hard you try, you can’t get any work done, even though you are trying really hard!

Currently the squirrels are digging up the back, front and side yards looking for a place to hide their food for the winter. There are small holes all over my yard, which was at one time an actual yard. We have 25 large oak trees in our backyard and do not need anymore. With the squirrels burying more acorns, this means if they don’t unbury them, we will have more oak trees growing in our yard.

 

 

Leave a Reply